wooo sickness

Music: Good Morning Little Schoolgirl - Jonny Lang

I think I'm gonna start each post now with a Mitch Hedberg quote, because I read his jokes every day anyway.

Here's the Mitch of the day:
"I think we should only get 3 honks a month on the car horn. Then, someone cuts you off, you press the horn, and nothing happens. You're like, "Crap! I wish I hadn't seen Ricky on the sidewalk!"

So I've been sick for 10 days now. It's not nearly as bad as it was last week, but still. I cough and weeze, especially at night, and there's still a lump in my throat. But the rest of me feels fine. It's beyond annoying, and it's making it's way up to nuisance status. I've had more trouble sleeping the last few nights than I did last week when I was really sick. It's weird.

I had orientation today for subbing in Ann Arbor. Out of 4 total hours, I'd say the last 3 were unecessary. Oh well. I'm just glad it's over and after the mess I went through to apply, I'm actually going to get called for sub jobs now. Unlike Chelsea. Chelsea's system is online and it's either a piece of crap, or no teachers are ever absence. In the 6 weeks that I have been in their system, I have never seen a single sub job listed. Either there aren't any, or people claim them before I get called or check the system. Beh. But if I get called for Ann Arbor all the time then I see no point in going all the way out to Chelsea anyway.

Welllll...I'm kind of tired. I'm gonna go watch Dr. Phil.

love for the talented.

Music: Professional Widow - Tori Amos


i love tori amos. i want to be her. or shall i say like her. just look how effing awesome she is. yeah double pianos. i busted out my tori dvd last night and every song still gives me chills even though i've seen it hundreds of times.



but anyway...there are some different directions i could take here to rant about things i.e. my stupid sickness and all the hoops i seemingly have to jump through to graduate. but instead i'm just going to say good job lisa. well done. because i weighed myself today at the gym (after much wheezing) and i weighed the lightest i have weighed in the last 4 years. last september, i was somewhat of a rotund 162 lbs. i tried to conceal it by wearing sweatshirts everyday but it probably made me look bigger. i weighed myself today and i was 144.2. that's about 18 pounds. i haven't felt this good about my body ever...even when i was like 130 pounds early on in high school. i also lowered my BMI by 2 points. anyway...i feel like a different person. well maybe not different, but more of the person that i'm supposed to be. my knee problems have pretty much gone away and on average i'm down to about a size 8, which is what my size was my senior year of high school, instead of a size 12, which is what i was in college. it feels so good. i didn't think it would actually happen. the weight has plagued me for 4 years...stupid freshman 15. or 20. it's boosted my self image a lot and i don't feel like the ugly girl or fat girl much anymore. i've still got the unfortunate genetic pooch, but it's size has decreased drastically. i actually have a waist now. my body is decently curvy and i love it, and i'm still losing weight. my goal is 140, but it's not really about the number; it's moreso about appearance at this point. the healthy weight range for a person of my height (5'7") is btw 138 and 146 lbs. Or something relatively close. I wish I had some before and after pictures. I have recent pictures of me but I don't have any full body shots so you can't tell that much. But it's enough of a difference where I put on my old jeans from last winter and buttoned them up, and i could easily slip them off without unbuttoning them. Yeha. I'm just really excited about this change in my life. It's made a huge difference in my overall sentiment.

cheap entertainment

Music: Sister, Mother - Sixpence None The Richer

Here's are some things I got when I googled the phrase "Unfortunately Lisa":

Unfortunately Lisa may only be sentenced to 18 months maximum custodial sentence as she was tried in the Magistrate's court.

Unfortunately, Lisa encountered a problem while she was there.

Unfortunately Lisa takes a dive off the school's roof instead.

Unfortunately, Lisa's life on the road hasn't turned up many eligible bachelors.

Unfortunately, Lisa’s feelings would be involved, and hurt.

Unfortunately, Lisa & Ken didn't make it to Business After Hours this month so the pot grows!

Unfortunately Lisa has already tried her hand at being a clown.

Unfortunately, Lisa was experienced, and twisted out of Alice’s grasp.


i know you're chuckling inside. and that you just opened up a new browser and typed google.com

Dream life, again

Music: No One In The World - Anita Baker

So I had been meaning to post an entry about this family I've seen on the Discovery Health channel. They're The Duggars, and they have 15 children and have no plan on stopping. They are a conservative christian family and they homeschool all of their kids. The parents are really nice, but at the same kind of a creepy nice. Too nice. Especially the mom. She's so sweet that I think she is not from this planet. Or she has the spiritual gift of not getting annoyed easily. Well anyway, I was going to write an entry about my take on the whole having 15 kids thing but I never got around to it. But in a nutshell, I'm quite against it because for many reasons after observing this family through their mini-series, their kids seem sheltered, naive, and they don't get the one-on-one attention they need from their parents that I believe all kids need. It seems like the only people they know are their siblings since they're home all day long with them in school and their outings consist of vacations in the family bus and to the grocery store. I don't mean to be putting them down, I think they are upstanding people and they're probably very good parents, but I just disagree with parts of their lifestyle. But anyway, I was going to expound on that in an entry but instead I want to describe my dream from two nights ago.

I went to sleep and then suddenly became a Duggar. I even remember which one I was. All of their kids' names start with the letter J, and I was one of the older daughters named Jessa. I felt internally like "I shouldn't be in this family, Mom and Dad are kind of nuts." I was in some church basement or something celebrating the renewing of my parents' (Jim Bob and Michelle) vows. There were candies on each table, and one of my little brothers, about 2 or 3 years old, had a couple of them in his hand and he looked really happy and was kinda of toddling around with them. Then all of a sudden, Jim Bob began chastizing him for "giving into temptation" and slapped the candies out of the little boy's hand. That was like a dagger through my heart, I'll tell you that right now. I don't like to see little children who look really happy all of a sudden fall down and cry or get their blanket taken from them or something. Anyway, my thoughts were, "I have to get out of this family," so I ran away. I ran away to a gas station. I thought I was safe until I turn around and there is Michelle coming after me, and I knew she was trying to kill me. She doused me in gasoline and tried to set me on fire but I dodged her. Then I sprayed gasoline on her and then torched her. But instead of getting burned, she aged instead. She became like a 50 year old woman with a shorter haircut and mom jeans. She ran after me into the gas station convenience store, where I hid behind a rack of Little Debbies. She gave up and left. And then it was a few years later and I was shopping, and she appeared out of nowhere and came after me again. It happened a few more times until I woke up. Behold, the wrath of Michelle Duggar, mother of 15.

www.duggarfamily.com

first day of my last semester of undergrad

Music: Leaving So Soon - Keane

I started school today. I walked to the bus stop. With my mom. All I needed was a Mickey Mouse lunch box and brand new sneakers to feel like a first grader again. But she wanted to go walking this morning so she came along with me. So...I had two classes with a three hour chunk of superfluous time to waste in between. I like my two profs so far, one for psych and one for grammar. Apparently English 406 is crosslisted as Linguistics 406...bleh. I've never taken any linguistics classes in my life. We spent the day talking about things like , "As a sign in the grocery store, which is correct: 'Ten items or fewer' or 'Ten items or less'?" We did this little worksheet thingy that had us read a short poem and assign word classes for each word. I knew most of the parts of speech except conjunction. I just kept thinking of School House Rock, but it was to no avail. I could not remember the function. I still have the devil Shakespeare class on Monday for three hours of which I'm sure will be absolutely repellent. Chin up though.

Me and Flynn watched "She's the Man" yesterday and it was hilarious. Probably the funniest cheapo teen movie I have seen since high school.

I got my hair cut yesterday. It's probably the shortest I've had it ever. The color is sweet but I was wary about the cut. But now that I styled a different way, I like it better. If I get a recent picture of me taken I'll probably update facebook with it or something.

I'm speaking on a panel tomorrow at School of Ed about student teaching.

I've been missing my Michael Jackson "Dangerous" album since June. It's my favorite.

The cap to my big nalgene fell down to the bottom of the dishwasher and melted.

The gym is finally open again, and after more than a two week hiatus, I'll be ellipticalling again this evening.

And here's a tidbit that I learned today that you probably already know:
A noun is a person, place, thing, or abstract idea. It doesn't really make any difference to me to know that because I just categorize everything that's not a person, place, adjective, adverb, preposition, etc. as a "thing" anyway. Meh.

Ugh.

Music: Breathe - Tristan Prettyman

Sometimes I'm really shocked at what kind of news makes the front page of msnbc.com. It makes me kind of mad when the first thing I see when I turn on my computer and want to know what's going on in the world today, is that Jessica Simpson has won a new car at the VMAs. For the love of God. You mean to tell me that there isn't anything that is going on in the world right now that is more noteworthy than that? Bastards. When I want to hear about celebrities, I go to www.thesuperficial.com, which is a smutty, funny, celebrities-are-idiots website that my friend anna got me hooked on. The funny thing too is that the Jessica Simpson story was listed under the headline, "Recommended News." Well I recommend Jessica Simpson to go play in traffic, because I really don't care. I admit, I watched a lot of "Newlyweds" and all, but I've lost most of my respect for her for a lot of reasons I won't get into right now.

In other news, stupid stupid stupid bastard professors need to take a look in the mirror and look at what pathetic d-bags they are, and how their lives only consist of teaching Shakespeare and early modern grammar to 19 year old kids that don't give a shit, and how they are boring men who have nothing better to do than to send out threatening emails to their classes on how if their students have not taken the lower level class, that they will "surely find" themselves "at a great disadvantage" and are "recommended to drop the course" because they will not be able to handle the material at a higher level. Pieces of shit. At first it got my panties in a twist because I need this class to graduate, but then I thought: I effing taught English. I think I can handle some Shakespeare. How many "levels" of Shakespeare are there anyway? Baby Shakespeare? Adolescent Shakespeare? Adult? Senior citizen? What? What? What the hell does that mean? Shakespeare is Shakespeare, you can't really water it down or make it super hard. It is what it is. Pieces of shit.

If you can't tell, I'm very upset with life right now. And for a few other unmentionable reasons that make me frustrated and depressed. I am not a mean person, but in this case, some things set me off in contained rages that make me create sweeping generalizations about people that I know are unfair and most likely false but it makes me feel better inside to insult these said people. My apologies for the cynical update.